How to work on yourself in your 20s? Find your passion. Get into a long-term relationship. Get a job. Start a side hustle. Take big risks. Gain experiences. Make more friends. Go out and party more. Put yourself out there. Cool. But is that it?
To actually start working on yourself in your 20s, you need to do more than just get a job and make money (which is very important). Learning to find who you are in your 20s, your purpose, unlearning toxic traits, outgrowing old habits, accepting yourself for who you are, etc. are equally important.
Before we get started, you need to keep in mind that working on yourself is an ongoing process with ups and downs.
You won’t magically wake up one day and be the best version of yourself for the rest of your life. It is hard to work on getting better everyday, but totally worth it.
Tips To Work On Yourself In Your Twenties
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Taking Responsibility
Stop waiting for something to come save you. Because nothing will. As harsh as it sounds, it is true. I read a quote along the lines of: it may not be your fault but it is your responsibility to change for the better. This totally changed the way I approached things.
Hold yourself accountable: If you find yourself slacking & not doing what you set out to do, check in with yourself to find out why you tend to slack in the first place. Jot down everything and figure out a sustainable way to achieve your goals instead of quitting all together.
Quit the victim mindset: This one is hard because it would’ve been so much more easier if we had x, y and z to finally achieve our goals right? To really push forward, you need to learn to quit the victim mindset and go after your goals. Also, life is unfair, so don’t even bother comparing yourself to others.
Forgive yourself: Instead of spending a lot of time being disappointed in yourself and punishing yourself for the mistakes you’ve done, pick yourself up and start working towards a better future.
Monetize your Passion/Hobby
If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that even our 9-5 jobs aren’t “stable”. Your 20s is the perfect time to start taking your passions and hobbies seriously and monetizing them.
This will not only help to make your financial situation better, but also helps with creative outlet.
The opportunities that come with focusing on your side hustles are endless. More money, more friends, more acquaintances.
Discipline>Motivation
Wanna know a lil secret to stop being lazy in your twenties? It is discipline that will take you places and not motivation.
Discipline is the strongest form of self love, it’s ignoring current pleasures & instant gratification for bigger rewards.
The key here is to come up with a sustainable process that you can keep up with instead of piling up work and feeling demotivated to check things off.
For example, from the previous point, to monetize your passion, you’ll have to first do a lot of stuff you don’t like but, with discipline you will get there.
Hustle culture, Most of us aren’t really built for that but, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Your 20s are the right time to start hustling so that you can settle in your 30s.
And by no means am I asking you to work for 20 hours a day and skip netflix and a bag chips! The keyword is sustainable!
Don’t go Broke for People you Don’t Like, Duh!
Verbatim, Don’t go broke for people you don’t like. The one thing you should not do in your twenties is going broke because of peer pressure or trends. This was an eye-opener for me.
Buying trendy clothes so I could fit in and realizing by the time I got around to actually wear them, they were out of trend.
Or spending way too much money going out with “friends” who weren’t worth the time or the money!
Oh another mistake I did was swiping my credit card left and right. Should’ve used a debit card because if I’d seen how much I was spending, girl, I would’ve probably stopped!
How much are you spending every month? Do the math. You’d be surprised to see how much money you spend on the most random stuff.
This section is stolen from my Best Financial Tips for your 20s blog post. I highly recommend you check that out!
Unlearn Toxic Traits
This one right here. Unlearning our own toxic traits is so hard but definitely possible.
Personal growth in your 20s is the way to go. Notice when your emotions are triggered (jealousy, ghosting, etc.), then examine why you reacted in that way. Now grow from it.
I know this process isn’t linear. But we all gotta start somewhere, right?
Healing in your 20s is super important for the quality of your future. Let’s be honest, those self-deprecating jokes about mental health are only funny for a while.
Set boundaries for yourself
You’re in your twenties. You should literally not be caring about what others think of you (not that if you’re older or younger you should).
Cut people out who demean you, don’t respect you. Especially if they don’t respect you after you bring up the fact that their behavior is bothering you.
Setting boundaries for yourself in your 20s means that you will start losing a lot of people who weren’t good for you anyways. This way you make room for high value people who are better for you!
Don’t be Someone’s Placeholder
Being a placeholder in relationships, friendships, work-relationships. Say no to that and do better for yourself in your 20s!
If you’re not receiving the same energy from your friends or partner, talk it out and see how you can sort this out. If they get offended, you its time to move tf on with your life! Because you are more than a placeholder in someone else’s life.
Learn to Say “No”
If you’re a people pleaser and say “Yes” to people 24/7 and feel miserable afterwards, it’s time to change that in your twenties. I think this is the most important thing to work on yourself in your 20s.
While you start saying “No” more often, you may feel guilty, sad or uncomfy. But, spreading yourself too thin by being there for everyone when you receive nothing in return will wear you down eventually.
Honestly, learning to say “No” will help you filter out the toxic people in your life that are close to you only because they can use you.
The courage to be disliked. This book changed my approach to life. It will for you too.
Dedicate More “Me” Time
You. Me. And everyone else in this world needs a work-life balance. If there’s one thing you need to start doing in your 20s, then it’s dedicating more “Me” time for yourself.
Finding time for yourself will help with finding yourself in your 20s.
If you’re a workaholic (by choice or not), taking time off can make you feel guilty. Especially with social media, we feel as though we could be doing a million things instead of taking a nap.
One way to not feel guilty is by dedicating a few hours of your weekend for leisure. For example, you can set aside your Sunday evenings for binge watching your favorite TV show or movie. Set the right mood with LED lights, dress in your favorite comfy PJs, stock up on your top snacks and enjoy.
By dedicating time to do these activities you not only avoid guilt but also create a routine you can look forward to each week!
Celebrate your “small” victories: Be it finally doing that task you’ve been putting off for weeks or acing your exams/work, celebrate your victories to reward yourself!
Looking for self-care ideas? Check out this self-care Ideas blog post!
Be Grateful for the “Boring Days”
Struggling in your 20s is inevitable as these are the years you grow into yourself more and more each day. It can take a toll on you.
So, be grateful for the “Boring Days” in your life. Enjoy mundane activities like grocery shopping, getting back from work and relaxing in your PJs, etc.
Last but not the least, as Kim K said, get your f-ing a** to work. Lol. These were some of my tips to work on yourself in your 20s! What will you be implementing? I wanna know!
